I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
