I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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