Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
