Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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