Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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