I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
He told me they were just razor bumps!
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize