There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
