Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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