those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize