he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
