I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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