I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
