Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
