you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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