everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
