are you still at the devil's house?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
