M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
