ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
