..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
