Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
