What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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