covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
