I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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