Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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