"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
