The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
