Even the bartender felt bad for me
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
