Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
We have so much sex to catch up on
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
