I'm going to rape someone's good day.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
