I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You've changed since you got that strap on
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
