Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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