I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
