did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
