LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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