I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
