Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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