I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
nutella sex= disaster
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
