Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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