I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
