If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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