I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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