quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Randomize
