Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
