Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
