Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
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