Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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