So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
