Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
