I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
