You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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