Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
