dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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