Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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