like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize