i was rollin on her like bob the builder
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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