Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
