Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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